Diversity and resilience
After finishing the national scholarship application, the mid-term assessment, and several obligatory presentations, I finally have some time for myself. Since last Wednesday, I’ve expanded my daily activities (or should I say side quests?) to a much wider range: playing kalimba, playing violin, attending chamber concerts, reading weighty tomes, practising soft brush calligraphy, watching films from the 70s and 80s, taking photos while roaming around… The list goes on.
Apart from sports (courtesy of my broken coccyx), I’ve been exploring different things. Not all of them are new to me, but I still feel each expeirence brand-new. I’ve also gradually abandoned my rigid routine, the weekday 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. grind, in favour of something more flexible and casual. Rather than feeling like wasting time, I’ve actually become far more efficient with my research (the main quest?), which in turn allows me to spend time on these other pursuits. My whole life seems like a virtuous circle, constantly evolving.
These days, I haven’t felt the slightest bit of boredom, which might be my greatest fear in life. This diversity has also brought resilience. Even when urgent tasks interrupt what I’m doing, I no longer feel upset or annoyed as I once did. I can switch from one thing to another easily, without breaking my efficiency or ruining my mood.
Looking back to years ago, when my days were dictated by schedules, I could hardly have imagined life as it is now. I used to seek security by immersing myself in timetables and to-do lists. But that sense of security seems to have been internalised. Now, I’m learning to adapt, to mix everything together, and to regard it all as a wholesome “life”. Grounded in this independent security, I feel more comfortable simply learning all sorts of things.
I’ve read countless sayings that treat youth as something doomed to vanish quickly or equating “maturity” with “fixity” and a loss of learning capacity. Yet as I grow, I see more possibilities in every direction. I could even say I feel younger and younger, as though I’m living in reverse time. My energy and curiosity to learn keep increasing, expanding the width of my life. Am I still immature, or are people simply wrong about life?